Yup, I am murmering and really havent been caring about it.
Brad wasnt called in for second interview for St. George and it really was like a punch to the face, for both of us. He thought the first interview went really well and was confident he would be called in. I know he is awesome and has much to offer in this field. So it is frustrating and hard that others arent recognizing what he has to offer.
I know that my murmering is all for selfish reasons. So i am letting it all out, hoping to get over it. I feel like we will be in our 30's and still in the same situation as in our 20's. As I have complained about before, we are just stuck and cant really do anything about it. Except to just keep on keepin' on. Its hard that we have both graduated from college and yet cant move on. I have been here for over 7 years and am ready to get away. But I am not in control.
In the scriptures it says that Laman and Lemual murmered because they didnt understand the workings of God (paraphrasing). I am murmering because I am selfish. I know God has a plan for us. I know that us not getting any jobs elsewhere is part of His plan. I was hoping for a different plan, focused more on what I want. Which is right there, my problem. So now it is time to just deal with it and choose to be happy. As of right now I dislike our ward, have been burned by friends and hurt by them, and want to get out of eastern Idaho. I am dying for a dishwasher, a real home with real carpet. But oh well. It is time to "deal with it" (for you mom and dad) and try and have a better attitude. I am not in control of what happens but I am in control of how I feel and how I react to our situation.
I have pretty much been wallowing all weekend and havent had a desire to do anything. No more! I will be better. Some day things will fall in to place. Joy in the journey, that's what I need. Endure to the end and endure it well! Time to do it.
7 comments:
Hang in there! I KNOW how it is!!! I finally had to ask myself one day..."if we lived here forever could I be happy?" After much thought I decided I definitely could be if I had my family. Of course I don't really want to stay there forever though......:)
Oh Ally! I love you, you are an inspiration to me!!!
Sometimes it helps to just get it out! You are totally fine and it's so hard sometimes to endure well and not murmur, we're only human afterall! We still need to get together, I'll e-mail you my cell #!
Ally! How frustrating! Hang in there kiddo! You are amazing and we are so blessed to have you as friends. We love you! Call me soon and we will go have some fun.
Its ok to want to scream and throw tvs off the hart stadium:) You're so right on about you being in control of your emotions, and how you react to a situation. Yes, we're all human, and have our frustration moments, so don't feel bad at all! We're stumped on trying to get Shaun started in school for nursing, all the schools seem to be flaking out. Hard. Here's a beautiful quote I found this week. I like it because he talks garden talk, ha ha:)I think we could all relate to this quote:
Neal A. Maxwell
“Human suffering does not automatically produce sweetness and character unless meekness is present. Meekness is the mulch that must go in the soil of adversity in order for empathy to grow and in order for character to grow. Jesus could not have become the most empathetic person had he not been the most meek person.” (The Neal A. Maxwell Quote Book, compiled by Cory H. Maxwell, p. 209)
Sorry about not getting that job! I know how it feels and it's no fun. I hate waiting. Why is it so hard? I'm glad the devotional you heard helped you feel better! Love, Shim
Sorry that you are struggling. The great part of being here is that you get to be so close to Brad's family. I wish we saw you guys more. We will be sad when/if you move far away.
I did know that Stephanie Sayer is related to you. Her and I figured it out several months ago. What a small world.
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