Stake Conference

Brad had to be at workby 8 am today. When Hunter came and woke me up he was in tears because Daddy was at work. That should have been my first clue of how today was to be.

But by some miracle the kiddos and I were showered/bathed, had breakfast, dressed, bag ready and out the door by 9:30 for 10:00 conference. The stake presidency was to be reorganized so it was already packed by the time we got there.

We went into the overflow in the relief soceity rooom and we sat in the back row. My kiddos were amazing the 10 minutes before it even started, but then once someone stood at the pulpit they had had it. Gookie was soooo tired. I made a little walkway for her so she had some space to play. She didnt care. She didnt want Hunter to look at her, touch her or even breathe! Every little thing he did she would freak out. HUnter was tired so he was clinging to me so of course Gookie didnt like that and both of them were fighting for my lap. Gookie discovered she could climb under chairs and break free so i was trying to prevent that which made her mad and occasionally i had to chase after her. It was EXHAUSTING and i wanted to cry. No I did not feel the Spirit at all, or even heard a word.

So after the first 55 minutes we had to leave that room. I have NEVER seen Gookie like this before. Just wailing and whining and crying. So we went into another room and there was only 1 other couple in there. For some reason Hunter threw himself on the floor and he began wailing. I think he thought we were going to nursery, so it makes perfect sense of why he was dissapointed. But because he was so tired he went over the top!!!

So I grabbed both kids and our stuff and we left. I was crying, Hunter was crying, Gookie was whining and I am thinking "why is it even worth this?"

So we come home and Hunter had completely lost it. Gookie goes right down, and Hunter is crying. I put him in bed and I call brad crying. I tell him how I feel, that I knew going was right, I know the church is true, and all I wanted was to do what was right. But where were the blessings! My kiddos were not overcome by the spirit and angels!! Quite the opposite!! blah blah blah. By then Hunter comes out of the room in hysterics and I have to go deal with him again. I put him in our bed and I lay by his side crying with him, praying to Heavenly Father that he knows I tried. Bummed that I didnt feel the spirit and probably kept others from that too! =P
And as i prayed the spirit whispered "the blessings will come when they are older". If that means they will have testimonies and live righteously then it was worth it! Every FHE will be worth it, every sunday being at church alone will be worth it. Doing what is right will be worth it!!

So they both took 2 hours naps. While they napped I put on church music and felt peace.
They have been awake for 2 hours and things are still peaceful. They were both extremely exhuasted and when you have tired kids you have wailing kids. And I still love every ounce of them!